


Some Things Last a Long Time

by StrangeOccurrence



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crying Eddie Kaspbrak, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Home for Christmas, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Young Adult Losers Club (IT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29289702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeOccurrence/pseuds/StrangeOccurrence
Summary: Eddie blows up at the Losers one night during Christmas Break and Richie follows him to his room to find out what's wrong
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 92





	Some Things Last a Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> this is so boring it just is what it is

“Woah, Eds! What’s the deal?” Richie came through the door a few moments after he heard it slam. He'd run up the stairs after Bev gave him the okay. It had been a while since they'd seen each other. Richie didn't know whether Eddie should be left alone. But Bev winked at him as she gathered her things together and handed Bill his coat. 

"We'll catch up with you tomorrow." She said. "He'll be okay, but you should talk to him." 

Richie had stared at her, because only moments ago Eddie had been screaming at her just as much as the rest of them. No one seemed as concerned as Richie. Maybe a little sad that the evening was over, but Ben had noted mildly that it was nearing midnight anyway. Richie gaped at them as they calmly looked at one another after Eddie stormed out of the living room. Either way, he took Bev's advice and followed him. 

“Shut the fuck up, Richie. Go back downstairs.” Eddie said, he was pacing in front of his bed. They were in Sonia's house. Eddie's blue checked bedroom lamp was the same one he'd had all his life. The netting over its top cast hatched shadows over the curved ceiling. 

“What, to sit by myself? You realise you just sent everyone home.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Uh, yeah you did. How else are they meant to interpret ‘why don’t you all go fuck yourselves, or each other, somewhere else’”.

“Did I say that?” Eddie sank onto the edge of his bed.

“Yep.” Richie strode over and planted himself next to Eddie. The mattress juddered against the wall. Its springs clanging in the corner where the stuffing had leaked out. “And I like the sentiment, Eds, but you know I only have eyes for Sonia.”

“I- ugh.”

Richie studied him for a moment as he ran a hand over his face, short stubby nails filed into neat squares. 

"What's up?" Richie said carefully. Eddie looked at him, and then at the carpet again. 

Ben and Bev." he said, a little sheepishly. "I'm glad they're happy and everything but, like, do you need to be in someone's _lap_ the entire night? The couch is big enough for everyone-"

"Ah." Said Richie. "It'll take some getting used to, but I think it's sweet!"

"It's disgusting." Eddie said darkly. 

"Maybe this is why Bill and Stan hated us all through middle school." said Richie.

"Um, we were annoying but we weren't trying to _enter_ one another on my mom's couch."

Richie held back the million colourful thoughts that burst through his mind. Instead, he nudged Eddie gently with his shoulder.

“It’s alright, Spaghetti. We’re used to it.”

“Don’t _say_ that.” Eddie slapped at Richie’s knee.

“What? There’s no denying you’re a little bitch, baby. It's what we love about you.”

"And you're ' _used to it_ '? Like I do this all the time. I do not do this all the time!"

"Well... It has been known to happen-"

“You make it sound like I’m insane!” Eddie turned away from Richie sharply, bringing his hand to shield his expression from Richie.

“Woah, woah.” Richie withdrew his limbs promptly. “I was just fucking around, Eds. No one thinks you’re insane.”

“Oh, yeah?” Eddie said wetly. He sniffed. There was a bitter edge to his voice.

“Yeah.” Richie said. He didn’t sound that convincing. He bit his lip. If he was being honest, they were going a little off script.

Eddie had these… wobbles sometimes. That’s how Richie thought of them. It had been the same since they were kids. Sometimes, everything got too much and he’d scream his head off at everyone- totally spoiling whatever it was they were doing- and lock himself in his room for three days. When they were young, Richie would double back and climb up onto the Kaspbrak’s garage to tap on Eddie’s window. Sometimes he’d let him in and sometimes he wouldn’t. But regardless, it would never get beyond a few muttered words between them, then they’d play Mario Kart until the sun came up and Richie had to leave. That was it. Eddie would turn up again eventually, mumble an apology if one was due, and they’d all cycle down to the arcade together.

They’d been away at college for a year now, so, admittedly, Richie was out of practice. Maybe he was misremembering exactly how those evenings went. Maybe he’d completely forgotten some kind of spell he’d utter and Eddie would magically feel better. But whatever the case, he never made Eddie _cry_. And Eddie was. He was crying on the bed with his face turned towards the window and his shoulders shaking and Richie was staring at the back of his head with his mouth open like a stupid, useless goldfish.

Eddie never cried in front of him. There were a couple of exceptions, as might be expected from a decade of friendship. He cried when they were twelve and he broke his arm. He cried out of sheer anxiety when they were fifteen and Mrs. Francis picked Eddie to introduce the guest speaker in front of the whole school; but that was it. Under normal circumstances, Eddie cried first, and Richie turned up with his metaphorical mop and bucket to handle the aftermath. By the time he crawled his way through Eddie’s window and tumbled onto the floor, his eyes may be red and swollen, his voice shot from the shouting, but he was done.

“Hey.” Richie said softly, running back through those moments in his head frantically trying to remember what he used to do. He didn’t do much of anything. Bill knew what do do when people were hurt. Bev and Ben knew what to do when people were scared. Richie knew how to make dick jokes. Even Richie had the presence of mind not to whip one of those out right then.

“Eds, it’s okay. We’re not mad at you.” He said.

“I’m never going to be better.” Eddie burst out. He whipped around, and Richie got the full image. Thick tear tracks in shining lines over his face. His skin reddened, spreading out from around his eyes.

“We’re in Derry for three fucking days all together. Three days! And then it’ll be passover before we’re all back here again. At least.“

“Easter?” Richie said.

“No one’s coming all the way home for Easter, Richie! No one over the age of nine cares about Easter!” Eddie said, then he dropped his head into his hands.

“Yeah.” Richie said gently. “No, that’s true.”

“And the point is I fucking ruined it. I always ruin literally everything. I still have-“ he felt around at the waistband of his pants and then plunged his hands into its pocket. He produced his inhaler and waved it at Richie. “I don’t need this! But I can’t leave home without it. I have to make people stop for me when we walk long distances. I can’t go into restaurants unless they fit my arbitrary fucking rules, I-”

“Eddie-“

“Don’t.”

“What!”

“Don’t fucking ‘Eddie’ me.”

“Excuse me.” Richie said. “Are you telling me after all these years you _do_ prefer ‘Eds’?”

“No.” Eddie said, wiping a sleeve over his face with rigour. Richie put a hand out to steady him. “You just only say Eddie when you’re mad. Or if you feel fucking sorry for me. It’s disgusting.”

“Uh, no. I’m literally never mad at you. That’s basically impossible, so.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“You were mad when I walked in on you and Christina at Senior prom.”

That wasn’t the reason he’d been mad and Eddie knew it. But they didn’t need to rehash that whole deal again tonight.

“I was embarrassed! On her behalf.” Richie said, folding his arms and putting on his smuggest face. “She was doing it wrong.“

“Okay, okay.” Eddie put a hand up. “You know what, I’m fine, Rich. You can go. I’ll text the others.”

“Eddie-“

Eddie glared at him.  
  
“ _Eds_.” Richie held his hands up in surrender. “We all have shit going on, you know.”

“Oh, thanks. I know I’m not special.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Richie said. “I mean we _get_ it. That’s what I love about us, man. It’s not, like, three strikes and you’re out. It’s us. Forever. Think about it. If any of these people had limits I’d’a been out of there years ago.”

Richie had thought that was pretty good, and even a pretty earnest thing to say, but evidently he misjudged it, because Eddie burst into tears again.

“Oh, shit.” Richie said. Eddie slipped off his mattress and dumped himself onto the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face there. Richie, a little shellshocked, negotiated his limbs down onto the carpet beside him. “I’m sorry.” He said.

Eddie shook his head, face still planted onto his kneecaps. Richie’s heart was physically hurting.

He put a hand out gingerly and rested it on Eddie’s back. This was new, too, but desperate times-

Before Richie could devise anything else, Eddie was leaning his whole body sideways, landing snugly under Richie’s armpit. Richie blinked at the far wall. The rough pull of Eddie’s breaths against his arm were reverberating through his body. He settled his arm more snugly around Eddie’s back and held him, his fingers digging into Eddie’s bicep.  
  
“Eds.” He said quietly. “It’s okay.”

Eddie shook his head again, his hair brushed Richie’s cheek.

“Yeah.” Richie said. “It actually is. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“I’m never going to be able to be what I want to be. Ever in my life.”

“What?” Richie said. He squeezed Eddie’s arm. “Hey, I can’t hear you.”

Eddie sluggishly drew his head upright and leant away from Richie a little bit, but not out of his grip altogether. He blinked, and Richie, without a moment to think about it, ran his free thumb under Eddie’s eye, catching a fat tear before it rolled down his cheek. Eddie sniffed and stared at him. There was something on his face that Richie couldn’t place. He let his hand drop, but he slipped it around so it joined his other hand. Both of his arms were around Eddie now.

“I said, I can’t be who I want to be.” Eddie said quietly. He looked like he was letting something go. He looked like he’d given up. Richie frowned and shook his head.

“What? You can be anything you want.” Richie said. “Are you kidding me? Eddie you’re like the most determined person I know. I wish I could be like that.”

Eddie closed his eyes, another pair of tears rolling down his face. They fell, in quick succession, onto Richie’s arm. His long grey t-shirt absorbed them into deep charcoal circles. He shook his head slowly.

“My mom.” He said.

“What about her?” Richie said. “You’re in Chicago now, right? Clever l’il Eds is gonna be a lawyer or whatever. You’re free, man. We talked about this. She can’t touch you.”

“Rich.” Eddie said. He looked into Richie’s eyes like Richie should be able to interpret something from them. But they were just the same deep, brown, warm eyes Richie always saw. Richie always thought about.

“Can I just show you?” He said, hardly a shade of colour to his voice. Richie opened his mouth, then closed it. Then he nodded. He didn’t know what that meant, but there was nothing Eddie could do that he would object to. Nothing on Earth.

Eddie’s tongue darted across his bottom lip and he took a deep breath. Richie’s eyes didn’t leave his, even as they were getting closer, and closing, and Eddie was kissing him.

They closed then. It took a moment, but after his brain got the message- delayed, probably, by every nerve in his body cheering as it passed through them- they fluttered shut. His palm settled against Eddie’s cheek. It was damp and sticky, and Richie, all at once, remembered that Eddie was sort of having a breakdown. 

He pulled back. Something rushed through him, like an instant withdrawal. His body couldn’t understand what was going on, or why he’d put a stop to it when it was all they’d been working towards for years. 

“I’m sorry.” Eddie said, a deep and permeating sadness in his eyes. “I thought it would be easier, than saying it.”

“You’re- you’re gay?” Richie whispered. Eddie rolled his eyes, he moved like he was about to get up.

“No, no!” Richie squeezed his eyes shut, trying to put all the pieces together. “Is that not it? I just- the- uhm- the- the thing about words is they say things. That had, like, a lot of room for interpretation if we’re being real, here.” Richie stuttered. Eddie was shifting again, looking like he was ready to jump out of the window into the snow.

“Eddie, babe!” Richie said. “Sorry. I’m slow. You know this about me. Walk the old man through it. You know me and your aunties and uncles love you no matter what.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose and wiped the back of his hand over his mouth.

“Don’t call yourself that please I just fucking- ugh.”

“Eddie.” Richie said, pleading.

“Remember when I found you and Christine?” Eddie said, taking a breath and turning towards Richie. Richie’s arm finally slipped from around Eddie’s shoulders. He sat, hands in his lap, watching him. He felt, all of a sudden, like they were on the edge of a cliff. Like he might be about to lose something.

“I- Eds, we can do a trip down memory lane any fucking time you want, but-“

“Shut up!” Eddie said. “Listen. I was so mad at you, after.”

“Yeah…”

“And I said it was because we were all meant to stick together. Losers Club honor or some shit.”

“Okay.”

“I never cared about that.”

“I know, that’s why we were in a fight over it.”

“Yes.” Eddie said. “But I could’t tell you I was mad because you were kissing _her._ ”

“You were into Christine?” Richie said, trying to place the two of them ever talking in school.

“Richie!” Eddie said, the exasperation in his voice almost tipping over into laughter. He slapped a hand on the carpet. “Don’t make me spell this out.”

Eddie looked at him. Richie looked back, and in his head, the little magnifying glass over Christine shifted. He imagined it from Eddie’s perspective, slowly panning over and finding Richie.

“Me.” Richie said softly. Eddie took a breath. The same type of breath when he was about to jump off a rock into the lake; the same breath he took when he presented to the whole school, even though he’d been so scared. He was ready for the drop.

But he was wrong. Richie wasn’t about to push him.

“Show me again.” Richie said quickly. Eddie’s expression stalled, and then he frowned. ‘ _Yeah, asshole_ ’. Richie thought. ‘ _No that easy to process, is it_?’

“Huh?”

“Show me. I think I’ll get it this time.”

“Really?” Eddie said, and he sounded near tears again, which Richie couldn’t handle. So this time, he dipped forwards and pressed his lips to Eddie’s. And it was still salty, and his cheek was still sticky when Richie ran a hand over his jaw and up into his hair. And sure, he wished Eddie hadn’t been sobbing five seconds ago, but it was perfect. It was still perfect.

“Holy shit.” He said a few minutes later. Eddie was almost in his lap. The warm of his mouth was burning into Richie’s skin when they pulled back. “How long…”

“Long time.” Eddie said. His lips were raw-red.

“Me too.” Richie said.

“Wait-?” Eddie said. Richie nodded. Then he laughed. Short at first, and then loud and giddy.

“Shut up, asshole, my mom’s asleep.” Eddie got up on his knees and tried to press his hand to Richie’s mouth. Richie grabbed his wrist and pulled him down towards him. They tousled on the floor, Eddie trying to pin Richie and Richie evading him with ease.

He let his hands linger when Eddie sat back on his heels, breathing heavy. It was the first time he’d let himself in a long time. Years and years. Richie looked up at him from where he was laying on the floor.

“That’s better.” Richie said. And wasn’t that a statement covering a lot of ground.

“I hate you.” Eddie said. “And I miss you.”

“Awh, Eds, don’t get all soppy on my now just cause we locked lips-“

Eddie drove his fingers into Richie’s side, hard.

“Ow!” Richie crowed. Eddie fought his wrist free of Richie’s grip and covered his mouth again. Richie let him, because, actually, maybe that was kind of nice. He didn’t have to fight it anymore.

Eddie was sprawled on top of him, eyes burning down into Richie’s, fingers digging into his cheek and palm hot over his mouth. Maybe he could feel that Richie was smiling.

“If you’re quiet you can stay.” Eddie said, voice low. Richie closed his eyes. “Is that a yes?” Eddie hissed, hand still clapped over Richie’s mouth. He nodded. Eddie lifted his hand slowly, holding it a few inches from Richie’s face, just in case. Richie smiled up at him for another moment, then he pulled an arm out from under Eddie’s knee and grabbed his hand.

He pulled it towards him again and kissed the centre of his palm.

“Anything you say.” He said. “It was always gonna be a yes.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Also, later, Richie manages to get in a "does this mean I can enter you on your mom's couch now?"


End file.
